Especially as of lately, as I attempt to look into the future and in-vision the kind of man and person I want him to be I am even more motivated to train him in the way that he should go. I want him to leave me with a set of skills, abilities, and character traits that will
help him in his service to God and in general life.
I am halfway through "Dare to Discipline" by James Dobson, a book that I only knew about through Shawn but never read for myself. I'm glad I decided to take the time now.
It has help me to understand the way Shawn parents our children, the way God intends for us to parent our children, and gives me motivation to do the same.
Did you know that through all of his years of studying families and parenting that James Dobson believes that a child who comes from a house divided will
have the most troubling issues? It would be better to come from two overly strict parents or two overly passive parents them to come from a home of one of each! Wow!
Another area that I have been very perplexed about is scheduling and daily routine. Just these words make me cringe. These things do NOT come naturally to me.
I tend to live in the moment and not think ahead. To tell you the truth, I rarely choose what I am cooking for dinner until about 3pm. Yikes! If my friend Sara is reading this she probably just had a heart palpitation. Sorry Sara.
No major consequences but not the best way to live when you have a family. As you might have guessed, Shawn is the complete opposite. Complete.
So, I have humbly asked for his help. Why is this so hard? It's so hard for me because
I have to admit my way isn't working and this equals failure in my mind. One of my core issues no doubt. But I am replacing that "failure" mentality with "improvement" and "growth." So it was to my amazement that one of the women I look up to most
as a wife, mother, and teacher emailed me this link to a free book you can download here with ideas from Charlotte Mason, who also comes highly recommended by Cheryl Lange. The title is none other than "Smooth and Easy Days!"
Exactly what I need!
Do you feel like your days control you, your
children are controlling you, and nothing seems
to go as planned? Amen, it is because
I didn't have a plan!
Everything in this book confirmed for me that what I am in the "process" of learning and changing will most definitely pay off greatly in my children's futures. I will share a couple of quotes from the book. It is only 47 pages so you can read it in one sitting. :) Take notes, make a brief plan of the next week and leave it on your kitchen counter so you have to walk by it a million times a day. And if you are like me, don't let the unexpected discourage you or cause you to quit. And please feel free to ask me how I'm doing. I need all the accountability I can get!
“Strong as nature is, habit is not only as strong, but tenfold as strong.” Your child can overcome his natural tendencies by
intentionally instilling good habits in his life.
Our problem comes with that glaring phrase “a little persistent effort.”
Yes, it will take effort to cultivate that good habit. And here is where your children will
benefit from your experience. Your victories, struggles, temptations, and progress will offer a prime opportunity to show your children what it means to depend upon God while putting forth personal effort. They need to learn this principle!
"The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children.”
God made our brains to form habits. And form habits we will, whether we’re thinking about it or not, whether the
habits are good or not. That’s a sobering thought when applied to our children. “Habit is inevitable.
If we fail to ease life by laying down habits of right thinking and right acting, habits of wrong thinking and wrong acting
fix themselves of their own accord.” If we are not intentionally cultivating good habits in our children’s lives, they
will naturally form bad habits. If we do not take pains to teach our children to obey, their natural tendency will be to disobey. If we do not make the effort to instill the habit of attention in our children, they will easily form the habit of
inattention. It’s true, habit training is hard work. And we parents may want to sit back and reason that we don’t have the energy or the time to work on this thing called habits, so we’ll just let it go for now and if we get around to it in the
future, we’ll add a few habits to our children’s lives then.
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